Oh my gosh. My perverted coworker, after me telling him no yesterday, comes in this morning and without missing a beat says, ” Well, we can still talk about it, can’t we?” What a jerk. I’m just glad I only have to see him in passing twice a week.
So anyway, my car is fixed. So I gotta run.
Well, my car broke down this morning, and so I was stuck by the side of the road waiting for a tow truck. So, I think, wow, it’s a beautiful, rainy day. Why wouldn’t my car break down on one of the busiest roads in Chattanooga during the morning rush hour. I take it in stride and wait.
The tow driver gets there, hooks me up, and we are off to see the wizard. While driving to the mechanic, he tells me he has just recently been diagnosed with cancer. He hasn’t even been to see an oncologist yet. He has been working and barely dozing for the last 53 hours and missed a doctor’s appointment yesterday. He is not upset or asking for sympathy, and I have no idea how the conversation arose, but when he dropped me and Lucy ( my car) off, I told him I would say a prayer for him and he thanked me and went on his way.
I got on Facebook and asked all my friends to pray for him, and now I’m asking you. Please pray for this sweet 30 something year old kid who is taking care of his dad, get through his coming trials. He is really on my mind. Maybe that is why my car broke down this morning, so I could meet and bring the world together for this Chattanooga tow truck driver. Please say a prayer for him.
Well, I got off on a tangent. I got on here to rant a little, but I can’t . I think it was a GOD thing, and I can’t be angry about that. So anyway. I Uber home from the mechanic and wait for the verdict on Lucy. Turns out to be the serpentine belt and the alternator, a double whammy. I lay down to take a nap because I still have to work tonight and wake up a couple of hours later to find my houseguest for the last 8 months has PayPaled me some money to help fix the car. Wow. Only family has ever given me money, so how do I say thank you? I’ve never been on the receiving end of things, and it’s hard for me to accept a gift. They have always come with strings attached.
Anyway, I’m having trouble going back to sleep, and I know I can’t work on just a couple of hours of sleep. Maybe I can. Joel has just gotten home, so I should really go thank him instead of just texting a thank you. He and his kids have really not been a problem since they have moved it. Once he gets back on his feet after the divorce, he will probably move out. Who wants to live with an old woman with cats?…lol…
HERE’S TO NOT SITTIN BY THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. It would be nice to be sittin on the dock of the bay watching my cares go away.. I can’t get that song out of my head.
Well, I saw my coworker this morning for the first time since last Wednesday morning. I told him that we were not happening. Period.
Am I wrong to still want to feel something when I kiss someone? There was nothing, one was or the other and if you start a relationship on nothing it will go nowhere. I will not fake any feelings any longer. I will not pretend anymore. If I am fridged and alone for the rest of my life, so be it. If God has someone out there for me in my later years, He will have to make me feel again. I WANT BUTTERFLIES in my stomach. I want to just feel something. I will not settle anymore, and if it’s not in the cards, that’s OK. I WANT BUTTERFLIES.
What do you do when you know you’ve done the wrong thing? Thursday was my birthday, Friday, today is his. He wanted to give me a kiss for my birthday. I think what the heck, I haven’t kissed a man in almost 25 yrs. And I need to see how to do it with false teeth anyway…lol…
So anyway, I clock out, and here he comes following me to my car. I know already this was the wrong thing to do, so I decided that just a peck on the check is gonna have to do. He ain’t having none of that, though… so I kiss him and try to pull away, and he holds me there for a moment longer. Oh, great! I’ve just let a perv kiss me, and I have to see him 2 mornings a week for about 5 minutes. Ok, I can do that.
But Lord, have mercy. He got my phone number out of the work phone and called me 4 times that day. I just let it ring, but today I called to see what he wanted. Can you believe he wanted to know how his kiss was?
I wanted to say, ” For one thing, you held my head and wouldn’t let me go when I wanted to. For another thing, you are obviously a perv if you want to get with something that looks like me. For another thing, you are obviously a perv if you have to call and ask how your kisses are. ” There is plenty more that I would love to say out loud, but I have to work with this guy.
When he didn’t let me go, it brought up all kinds of emotions, throwing me right back into my childhood. I obviously have not resolved any issues that I have from being raised by a pedophile. Should I tell him? Maybe the next woman he kisses, he’ll let her go when she wants to and not linger for any extra seconds. That was not cool, dude. When a woman starts to pull away, let her. Do all of you dudes out there understand that? Or are you all pervs? It has been almost 25 years since I have been with anyone, and now I probably never will be again. BUMMER
worldinsidemyhead 